SENCATZ

I am thirteen days late to the new year, does that say something about me? If it does, I am choosing to ignore it. Happy New Year! 2026 seems like a far away memory I have never lived. The best thing about starting the new year is being able to get rid of habits you once had, or at least try to get rid of them. It feels almost like a clean slate, but a clean slate doesn't always have to be on the first. I will be taking advantage of this new start, and continue being the pers

As I lay in bed I start to wonder if it ever made sense. I wonder if I came to a conclusion years ago and chose to ignore it for my well-being. Everyone seems to think I am a good person, so I can only hope that it is true. I guess my frustration begins with not knowing why I was never enough. I think I have spent the majority of my life as a doormat. I wonder when that'll change.

Today felt like a walk in the park, until it hit me. I watched one of my favorite movies The Spectacular Now and it made me think. I felt like I was watching myself, truly. This movie embodies my exact character and it made me feel hurt. I can't believe I have let myself be hurt just like her. I wonder if my watching this movie today was purposeful. I was 13 when I watched this movie for the first time, and now at the age of 25, I feel exactly the same. What does that say abo

I haven't written in so long. What do you think my life has come to? I have a lot of stories to share, but I want to start with the most important one. As a 25 year old I think I am finally starting to see the other side. What is the other side you ask? Well, I think it is the reality I never decided to face as a child. Don't get me wrong, I am still the happy go lucky Carla, but I am more aware. I ask myself if that is a good or bad thing. It's okay, we don't have to answer